Oakland, CA, February 2008. Joyce Cook is a family organizer

After my son's death, I didn't want him to be a statistic. I wanted to memorialize him. I wanted to create peace in his name.

When Louis was alive, I felt disconnected from the issue of violence prevention because Louis wasn't a problem child. I thought folks who were talking about youth violence weren't speaking to me. They weren't asking me to be part of a solution, and I thought I could ignore the issue. I was in a trance. I had to wake up.

When it happened to me, I realized that while I had been doing what I could in my little house, it wasn't enough. Our work needs to go beyond creating peace in our own homes. We should all be able to walk down the street - safely. It's going to take all of us.

Curriculum for Peace

After Louis' death, we received many letters from people saying they wanted to help. We didn't know what to do. My ex-husband, Joseph, had the idea to commemorate Louis, who loved to read, by using the $10,000 in donations we had received to create a peace curriculum.

We at the Louis D. Brown Institute march to the beat of a different drum because we focus not just on what we oppose, but on creating peace. We're trying to live what we're preaching. Our seven principles of peace are: love, unity, faith, hope, courage, justice, and forgiveness.

Peace seems so humongous, so unattainable. It seems like there's always a shooting, always a stabbing, the President goes to war, a state imposes the death penalty. Our job is to work with the community to flip the script. Yes, there's too much violence. There's never enough peace in our lives. But if we look around us, there's a lot of love, unity, faith, hope, courage, justice, and forgiveness too. Here at the Peace Institute we ask ourselves, and we ask everyone we encounter, which of these bedrock principles of peace are you struggling with? How can we help?

We developed a curriculum in 1994, starting with the 10th grade. We begin with Louis' story, introduce principles of peace, and then encourage students to examine these concepts as they emerge in novels. In 1996, we received funding from the Department of Education to develop the Peace Zone curriculum for elementary students along with Dr. Deborah Prothrow-Stith of the Harvard School of Public Health and John Oliver of Lesson One Company and the Boston Public Schools..

Our elementary curriculum was the first to combine two complementary approaches: building social skills, and healing from trauma. It gives teachers the opportunity to connect with students on a subject that is important to them.

Mothers' Walk for Peace

I'm a selfish person. I wanted to find a way to let people know that I was going through hell on Mother's Day. I have two living children, but how could I celebrate motherhood when my son was dead? How can I meet the needs of my living children while not forgetting my son? I thought about all the other groups that use walks: a Walk for Hunger, a Walk for AIDS.

I didn't want to march against violence. I wanted to walk for peace. In my community, most of the people are decent folk. I wanted to reclaim our streets for peace. I wanted us to publicly commit, "We will work together to protect each other's children." I wanted to help create awareness and raise money to help further the work of the Institute. So in 1996, we organized the first Mothers' Walk for Peace.

It turns out that when Julia Ward Howe first proposed Mothers' Day in 1870, she wanted it to be a Mothers' Day for Peace. I had never heard of a Mothers' Day for Peace when I came up with the idea, but now we incorporate Howe's Declaration into the activities at the March.

It's true that there is some reluctance to do something that some people see as politicizing Mother's Day. I've learned to respect everybody's opinion. I'm not trying to convince them. This horrible thing happened to me. You don't have to march. I'm going to march.

On the other hand, I am still in shock that my message resonates with so many mothers and so many people throughout the community. I started with the idea that it was about me, but now, as hundreds and thousands of mothers are acting on this too, it's clear that it addressed a community need.

Three years ago, in 2005, we almost canceled. The community said no, the march was too important. In 2006, when people came out in the rain, it showed our commitment. By 2007, the violence and murder rate was rising again in Boston. That year, we were astounded and thrilled that 5000 people participated.

Don't Feel Sorry, Do Something

As survivors, if we can bring ourselves to tell our stories in public, people listen to us in a way that they don't listen to many others. I talk about my personal journey. I'm finding a way of dealing with the trauma. We need to learn how to celebrate and develop our resilience. When we can do that, we bring life back into our lives and into the lives of our communities.

We create peacemaking circles for survivors to focus on the principles of peace. How do we begin to live life for our living children? How do we honor the memory of those we have lost while celebrating the living? How do you want to choose to work with the police and the criminal justice system? How are you taking care of yourself? These circles give us the tools to live again, like someone recovering from an accident re-learning how to walk.

I try to channel my anger at losing Louis into motivation to work for peace. Before Louis was killed, I was in favor of the death penalty. It took my son being killed before I could oppose any more killing. Those of us survivors who share these views show that peace is possible. We are not working for vengeance.

Our Mothers on the Move support groups bring together mothers who have lost their children to murder, and the mothers who have lost their children to prison. The parallels between our journeys sometimes surprise us. Those of us who have children who still deal with the streets are always scared that we'll get a call: Our child is dead, or our child is accused of killing someone else.

Sometimes, people come up to me and say, "I'm so sorry." Please don't feel sorry for me. Do something. Come out to Dorchester and walk. It's not just the inner city that has a problem with violence. We need to increase the peace everywhere. So join me. Join us.

To Get Involved

12th Annual Mothers' Walk for Peace, Sunday, May 11, 7-10:30 am. Fields Corner, Dorchester. Louis D. Brown Peace Institute, 1452 Dorchester Ave. 2nd flr., Dorchester MA 02122; 617/825-1917; www.louisdbrownpeaceinstitute.org. [5]