The supposition of this statement is that when war occurs, deception by those who orchestrate the war is essential and immediate. Given the current state of US foreign and domestic policies, the horror in Iraq and the absolute disregard for our troops, US Americans should know this best of all. "Truth is the first casualty of war" should be our national motto.

After the September 11, 2001 attacks, many citizens allowed a deceptive administration backed by a network of self-interested corporations to play on their fears, and did what our "president" told us to do: We went back to shopping. We eat, drink, smoke, poke, pop, or purchase anything we can to perpetuate the state of denial that is necessary for the continuation of the status quo. Therefore, a tony shopping district in Santa Monica, California was the perfect setting for a performance of Operation First Casualty, a street theater project created by Iraq Veterans Against the War.

It seems like until people are directly affected, they couldn't care less about the troops who are being killed and wounded, the troop suicides, or the absolute hell that is daily life in a nation that never attacked ours. It just isn't what Americans think about all day.

So we're bringing the war to them...okay, not the real war. In fact, when you compare the reality of war to a bunch of soldiers and marines walking through the street pretending to hold rifles, it can be almost comical. A few people even laugh when they see us, but most don't. Most stand slack-jawed at the prospect that what they're seeing even could be real. Except in New Orleans, Americans aren't used to seeing armed members of the military patrolling their streets.

In an instant, people are able to realize that what they are witnessing isn't "real." The "Iraqis" (actually volunteers who have practiced this performance with us) are all wearing white T-shirts with orange armbands which we then use to blindfold them. The onlookers can clearly see that we are not snatching up civilians out of the crowd to "bag and tag" them. Even so, it is still a very upsetting experience for those who see it. To hear the people we are detaining scream and beg is chilling to anyone who hears it. The sight of a person being pushed to the ground by someone in military fatigues is not something most of these witnesses have ever seen in person.

We basically ignore the people who watch the action as we carry out our mock patrol. If not actively involved in apprehending a "detainee," I stood with my imaginary weapon leveled at the crowd screaming over and over, "I'm screaming at you in a language you don't understand! You speak Arabic, I speak English! For all you know I could be screaming about the weather! All you know is that I have a weapon and I am screaming at you!"

The only people we really interact with are our confederates who have rehearsed the actions with us; but still the effect is powerful and you can see it written all over the faces of those who witness it. Volunteers walk alongside us and give out pamphlets explaining what's going on to anyone who's interested. They let the people know that we are actual Iraq War veterans who oppose the war. We get myriad responses. In Santa Monica, I heard a lot of "good for them" and "they should do more of this." I did hear one of the volunteers ask a man, "Do you want to know what's going on?" The man's response spoke volumes. He simply said, "No."

Actually, when I first heard about Operation First Casualty, when other IVAW members were doing it in Washington DC and in New York, I thought, "But won't that be too upsetting to the people? What if there are kids around?" As soon as I became conscious of my thought, I became conscious of the fact that even someone like me who has been to the war is not immune to thinking that it's somehow acceptable for us to visit real hell on the Iraqis but it is not okay for Americans to have to witness this watered-down version. The weapons in Iraq are real and the children know it too. The children who were four when we invaded are now eight. Think of the real life, death, and destruction they have had to witness. What a crucial four years in a child's development! I hate to even imagine the effect we've had on them. Yet I was worried that the crying child at Third Street Promenade would be traumatized. When I saw a man walking away from the maelstrom of activity with his crying son's face pressed to his chest, my fears were realized. Then I heard a woman say, "Imagine what it's like for their children every day over there" and I knew that even though it was unpleasant, for adults and children alike, we had achieved our mission.

We rehearsed the activities (for clarity and safety) on Saturday and then did the action on Sunday. I didn't sleep well on Friday or Saturday nights. I don't want to revisit Iraq. The thought of the horrible suffering of these people that I went to try to help haunts me daily. If I could, I would forget about it. I wanted desperately to sit this one out even though it was, after all "just pretend."

So many times over the last three years of my activism, since I first spoke out publicly against the occupation, I have been blessed to stand alongside brave souls who have stood the good fight against injustice for many years now, some since before I was born. I always wondered how they kept from being petrified as they stood in the face of such powerful oppression. Now I've been told by those who stood with them, they were petrified! They did it anyway.

I have also had the privilege of being cared for and supported by many Vietnam vets who also came home from war to begin another war of fighting to bring home those troops and fighting to get veterans taken care of. They have shown us, the Iraq vets, that this is not an easy fight but it is what is right to do.

So even though I really would rather have done just about anything else, I did it anyway. I hoped the other vets just couldn't tell how nervous I was or how much dragging those screaming volunteers to their knees made me want to vomit. Then it happened, just as it has happened over and over since I first joined up with Iraq Vets Against the War: When I looked in their eyes, I saw a reflection of what I was feeling.

Hell, none of us really wanted to be there. But we all knew we should be there. We all believe that no matter what spin comes from what white tower in Washington and how many people believe it, this illegal, immoral, and dangerous occupation must end. And we won't stop until it does.