Walt Whitman in New York, 1887, Photo: George C. Cox via Wikimedia

When I was in college, back in 1960, I started to read a poem required of me by a course. I began Whitman's Song of Myself and then eagerly sought out Leaves of Grass, of which it was a part.

I was speechless. I could scarcely believe this was written in the United States in 1856. Whitman described class issues, body parts, sex, religion, and nature. He claimed Jesus as a "brother and lover." He wrote the greatest lines I had ever read, "Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large; I contain multitudes."

Whitman broke a lot of the social "rules" I had been taught. He spoke of relationship with every person, indeed with all creation. Looking back on it, I think that what he said to me was "be yourself," "think large," "don't be afraid," and "stand up for those who are oppressed."

I was only beginning to come to terms with my own gay feelings. So, imagine how it felt in 1960 to read the lines:

When I heard at the close of the day how my name had been receiv'd
with plaudits in the capitol, still it was not a happy night for me that follow'd;
And else, when I carous'd, or when my plans were accomplish'd, still
I was not happy;
But the day when I rose at dawn from the bed of perfect health,
refresh'd, singing, inhaling the ripe breath of autumn,
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and disappear in the
morning light,
When I wander'd alone over the beach, and undressing, bathed,
laughing with the cool waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my dear friend, my lover, was on his way
coming, O then I was happy;….

I was in a quiet room in the basement of the library, silently weeping, and, "O then I was happy" myself.